Dear Anxiety
A letter to the part of me that’s always trying to protect me.
Dear Anxiety,
You’ve been with me for as long as I can remember.
I just didn’t know your name until I got older.
You caused the nail biting. The stomach aches. The hair twirling.The mind that never stopped running. The sleepless nights. You were rehearsing conversations before I ever had them. To imagine the worst case scenario before life had the chance to surprise me.
Sometimes you even convince me that if I’m not worrying… then I’m not paying attention.
You taught me:
To stay alert.
To always have an exit plan.
To stay in control.
I thought everyone felt this way?
Then I got older. And realized not everyone thinks this way…
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I thought you were keeping me safe. Maybe, in some ways, you are.
Lately however, you’ve been stealing more than you’ve been protecting.
You’ve stolen mornings that could have been peaceful. You’ve stolen moments with my kids because I was already three steps ahead. Anxiously Overthinking life. And all the “What ifs”
Yes, you got me through some of the hardest parts of my childhood. You were there when I was just a little girl.
You made me feel safe.
You protected that little girl when she needed it most.
And for that, I’m grateful.
But she’s not little anymore. And I have children of my own now. I want my children to see a strong, confident and present mom. A mom who is not consumed by her anxiety, a mom who is present.
With love,
Logan
Thanks for sharing this, Logan.
I really resonated with this. I’ve been an anxious person my entire life, it’s just my personality at this point. But, like you, I desperately do not want to pass that on to my children. I work really hard to be present in the moment and to be (mostly) unphased by hiccups in the day. It’s hard work but we’re trying, and that means everything 💖
Wow, I really related to this❤️ ! Especially as an eldest daughter, I’ve always felt this pressure and anxiety to be perfect and to have everything together. So much of what you wrote felt like you were putting words to things I’ve felt but haven’t always known how to explain. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in some of these feelings. 🤍